Christmas boat parade suspect arrested
As always, try your very best to remain sane as your read, "The Mad, Mad World of Your Hometown News." It's time for the wacky and wonderful antics of the fictitious people and events that make the news in our fictitious hometowns across Florida and the nation.
So keep your arms and legs in this coaster car and enjoy the ride. Here we go.
By JT Seravat
Ecineville, Fla. (SWG) -The small coastal hamlet of Ecineville, Fla, population 2,477, became the talk of the nation this week when Ecineville Police arrested Heff Dadius after an undercover officer for the Ecineville Police Department uncovered Dadius’ plot to purchase a mini submarine, load it with torpedoes and blow up boats during the Ecineville Boat Parade, which is held every December.
The news was broadcast nationwide by CNN, MSNBC, NBC and all other major media.
Ecineville Police Chief Trudy Redford announced the arrest on Tuesday. “We have apprehended one Heff C. Dadius after a lengthy undercover investigation revealed the suspect was in the process of gathering the necessary materials and making detailed plans to torpedo boats during the Ecineville Boat Parade,” Redford said."Charges are pending."
My sources at the state attorney’s office maintenance department are telling me that several felonies will be filed along with a misdemeanor for conspiracy to operate a mini-sub in the intracoastal waterway without a permit.
“This is quite a relief,” said Ecineville Mayor Juan Suarez.
Ecineville Boat Parade President Sheila Evinruder was just appalled when she heard the news. “That sick son of a %&&%. Imagine someone even thinking about disrupting our wonderful, beautiful, terrific, outstanding, joyous, admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, beauteous, bewitching, charming, classy, comely, cute, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, and excellent parade. They should hang that &^$%(&^) and well, that’s all I have to say." said Evinruder.
Ecinevillians were stunned as the news broke. “I just can’t believe this could happen in our lovely Ecineville,” resident Martha Redingham said.
In order to restore calm in the community, Mayor Suarez invited the public to a press conference and afternoon tea. The press conference was broadcast live nationwide, and the mayor rose to the occasion to calm the populace and let people across the country know the people of the small hamlet were all OK.
“I’m pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, caught the predator that supposedly planned to blow up the boats,” said Mayor Suarez. “And as you see, it’s a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time. Ecineville, as you know, means ‘friendship,’” he said. Thanks to EPD and the mayor, the children of Ecineville will sleep soundly tonight.
Well, this is JT Seravat reporting. I'll see you again with more news from hometowns all across Florida and the good old U.S.A. Until then remember to install depth charges on your boat if you plan of participating in The Ecineville Boat Parade this December.
Next, I'll blog all over you from the lovely tourist town of Moolaville, Fla. where concerns of terrorism struck the community.
The news was broadcast nationwide by CNN, MSNBC, NBC and all other major media.
Ecineville Police Chief Trudy Redford announced the arrest on Tuesday. “We have apprehended one Heff C. Dadius after a lengthy undercover investigation revealed the suspect was in the process of gathering the necessary materials and making detailed plans to torpedo boats during the Ecineville Boat Parade,” Redford said."Charges are pending."
My sources at the state attorney’s office maintenance department are telling me that several felonies will be filed along with a misdemeanor for conspiracy to operate a mini-sub in the intracoastal waterway without a permit.
“This is quite a relief,” said Ecineville Mayor Juan Suarez.
Ecineville Boat Parade President Sheila Evinruder was just appalled when she heard the news. “That sick son of a %&&%. Imagine someone even thinking about disrupting our wonderful, beautiful, terrific, outstanding, joyous, admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, beauteous, bewitching, charming, classy, comely, cute, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, and excellent parade. They should hang that &^$%(&^) and well, that’s all I have to say." said Evinruder.
Ecinevillians were stunned as the news broke. “I just can’t believe this could happen in our lovely Ecineville,” resident Martha Redingham said.
In order to restore calm in the community, Mayor Suarez invited the public to a press conference and afternoon tea. The press conference was broadcast live nationwide, and the mayor rose to the occasion to calm the populace and let people across the country know the people of the small hamlet were all OK.
“I’m pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, caught the predator that supposedly planned to blow up the boats,” said Mayor Suarez. “And as you see, it’s a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time. Ecineville, as you know, means ‘friendship,’” he said. Thanks to EPD and the mayor, the children of Ecineville will sleep soundly tonight.
Well, this is JT Seravat reporting. I'll see you again with more news from hometowns all across Florida and the good old U.S.A. Until then remember to install depth charges on your boat if you plan of participating in The Ecineville Boat Parade this December.
Next, I'll blog all over you from the lovely tourist town of Moolaville, Fla. where concerns of terrorism struck the community.
© 2008 Seravat Writers Group LLC
Labels: christmas boat attack
posted by JT Seravat @ 11:14 AM
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